Birthday Girl...

Savvy is officially two years old! To start the day off right, Skyler and I went into her room when she woke and said "Happy Birthday" and quickly asked her how old she is...she was thrilled to answer "TWO" and show us her two fingers crossed. She had a huge grin on her face, framed by her adorable, crazy, morning curls. We all quickly ran to the living room and watched her open her gifts and discover her new toys. Savannah received lots of gifts and love from all of her family and friends. We really appreciate the thoughtfulness of those who were a part of celebrating her special day.

Savannah's birthday party was a story hour at the library hosted special for her. As the library story hour is one of her favorite things in the world, it seemed only fitting. Her birthday story hour was extra fun because Savannah had all of her friends at the library and she was right in her element. I played the role of the librarian and quickly jumped into "teacher mode." I loved watching her glowing face the entire time. The kids all seemed to have a blast with the songs and stories and, of course, their favorites were the balloons and bubbles!

It seems impossible to express how much we love our Savannah Madelyn. The last two years with her in our home have been wonderful as we watch her learn and grow and as she becomes a beautiful little lady.

June...

June went by in a flash! I don't want to forget about our fun so here are a few videos and photos to get a glimpse of our month.

2 June: walking at a park to take photos

7 June: Temple Square Family Home Evening

18 June: Hike Ensign Peak

(time at the top was short, but Savvy was introduced to going potty in the woods ;) )

19 June: Father's Day, Savvy's card to Daddy

We gave Skyler a globe from Pottery Barn for his office

25 June: SLC Arts Festival

Celebrations...

April 24th we celebrated Easter. It was great to be with some of the Tanner and Hinkins family in Orangeville. Savannah loved the egg hunt at Great Grandma Elda's.

April 28th we celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary. We went to dinner at Tucci's (absolutely delicious) and spent the night chatting about how wonderful the last years have been and how much we can look forward to in the years to come.

May 3rd we celebrated Skyler's 28th birthday. Love that man with all my heart and it was great to celebrate his special day with many of our friends here.

May 5th we celebrated the marriage of Skyler's cousin, Tanner, to his beautiful bride, Allie. Their sealing ceremony was very touching and the wedding festivities were gorgeous.

May 8th we celebrated mothers on a fabulous Mother's Day. Skyler and Savvy treated me to a day of extra giggles and pampering. Motherhood is a tremendous blessing in my life.

note to self: Skyler will be the photographer on Mother's Day so don't change out of Sunday dress quite so quickly :)

More celebrations seem to be right around the corner . . . can you believe Savvy will be two in July?!

Today...

Today has been a long day full of exhaustion and wondering if I really am patient enough to care for children. Savvy had a rough night last night, and we are spoiled so those are few and far between around here, but it was a record breaking night. We slept for 3 hours and that was not consecutive. She wasn't crying constantly or seemingly uncomfortable, she just wanted to be with us in our bed or in her rocking chair and make sure we were comfortable by checking our eyes and noses and the like all throughout the night. When we would put her back to bed she would cry intensely as if something was wrong and knowing that she is on the verge of cutting another tooth and that she has had a tight stomach we didn't know how to react. Because she is my own baby girl I was still overcome by her sweetness in the middle of the night and how wonderful she can be as she cuddles me closely. I was able to snuggle her to sleep for the "night" at 5:30 am. I babysit a 22-month-old and a 3-month old at 6:30 am until 12:15 pm.

3 hours of sleep and 3 children under the age of two aren't the best combination. Especially when the 3-month-old was screaming and was so congested she couldn't take her bottle. The trick is her normal cry is much stronger than Savannah's blood-curdling I-just-hit-my-head-on-the-tile-scream. Needless to say I was praying for patience a lot today and inspiration. The patience came in waves and I finally found the inspiration. After the third time of holding the baby while she cried for an hour+ and the older brother waking her for the third time I finally fell on my knees and rocked the screaming baby while holding her little face with my hands and "shhhing" her softly in her ear. It seemed so extreme to me because I never would have had to do that with Savvy, but I have seen clips from "Happiest Baby on the Block" and thought I might as well give it a whirl. It worked. She stopped screaming. I cried a bit. She fell asleep.

Mothering is not for the faint in heart. I love my baby girl and I love the children I care for in other capacities. And you bet I am learning a lot about myself along the way.

Savannah Madelyn, 8 April

The bob...

I frequently miss having my hair styled in a bob. Today is one of those days.

Do I go back?!?!

The good days...

Savannah is ridiculously fun these days. A couple of weeks ago she was quite off-track with her sleep schedule and wasn't her happiest generally, as teething and learning to share can be quite difficult for toddlers. However, I swear she is living life on cloud-nine this week.

A successful attempt at soothing a hungry but teething Savannah.

Here are a few fun moments from our life right now:

-This morning Skyler was still home when Savannah woke so he went in to get her and change her diaper while I kept doing my hair. As he finished dressing her he said "Do you want to see Mama?" she immediately came running out of her room as I stepped out of the bathroom simultaneously and we both had our eyes wide with joy and our hands clasped in the exact same way.

-This week as we read scriptures I saw Savannah sign "Jesus" for the first time. I didn't even know she was paying much attention as I had used the sign with her. She is cute to sign and say "Zezzus" and point to pictures now.

-As soon as we saw the courthouse from the train stop this afternoon Savannah signed "Daddy".

-Savannah loves babies now that I have been babysitting a newborn a few days a week. She is regularly holding her own doll as I care for the baby and is always eager to hold the baby when she isn't crying.

Savvy & Lily

-Savannah twirls to show you her outfit if you say "Wow, you look beautiful" after you dress her. I love the confidence!

-The toddler boy I babysit is quite good at loudly saying "roar" if you say "lion" or "tiger" and so Savannah learned the sound from him, but her "roar" is super quiet and timid. She also says "ah, ah, ah" whenever she sees a monkey and pounds her chest with sound effects when she sees any gorilla pictures.

-Savannah loves to help me with everything I do and yesterday she wanted to use a paper towel to help clean up a mess she made so I gave her one and as soon as the she finished helping me she proceeded to wipe down all of our kitchen appliances. She then asked me for a few more paper towels and "cleaned" the floor as I continued to make dinner.

-We have a marshmallow girl on our hands. I claim no responsibility; if you recall, Skyler started it when she was not even 8 months old. Each morning this week she has run to the pantry and pointed to the Lucky Charms while signing "please." It is a good thing I love to see her smile and that they will only be on sale for a short time.

-A few weeks ago we bought a night light for Savannah's room and now each night when Skyler puts her to sleep she "chases" the shadow on the wall like a regular Peter Pan. It is adorable to watch and she gets a crack out of it!

Checking out her shadow at the park

Ramblings about real life...

I decided that blogging was a worthy enough cause that I could do it instead of my, supposed to be regular, Jillian Michaels routine. Can I just say for the record that I don't like her? And it totally doesn't make sense to me why they have girls acting out the modified routines that have better abs than I even had in my prime ab days. Way to make a girl feel good about her body, really! Anyway. That is off topic, but I had to tell someone in the world that would agree with me, aka, not my husband who is ridiculously sweet and biased. And for the record, I did carry Savvy on my back in a Kelty for over 3.5 miles today so I am slightly justified. Just ignore the fact that that exercise won't help my abs for the days that I am on the beach in the DR.

Moving on to the reason I chose to blog. I am noticing a trend among the blogs I read and my friends these days. Everyone is hitting various breaking points or feels like life is extra hard right now. Can I just say that there must be something in the water across the country right now? I was feeling very overwhelmed in December and again about two weeks ago. Everyone and anyone wanted me to do something for them and I didn't even feel like I was on top of my own life with trying to be Super Mom and Super Wife and everything for everyone. Why do we all strive for that when we all know it isn't necessarily obtainable? All of the women in the media that portray such are all just actresses. And the women that we gawk over on blogs (I wish I could be Pioneer Women) have their own weaknesses as well, whether they fess up or not.

There is something awe inspiring to me about women who are real. I try to be real. But I also know that deep down inside I want people to think my house is always clean, when it really isn't---I hate cleaning the tub, hate it. It is rewarding to hear that we are all human beings and have challenges and can buoy one another up during our challenges. Real life is hard. Real life sometimes feels too hard. But also real life is the most rewarding way to live. Yes I love the idea of manicures, pedicures & massages each week with a touch of exercise with a personal trainer, and endless gourmet meals, but you know what, I have amazing times when I am in my sweats on the kitchen floor with Savannah on my lap eating whatever she is in the mood to love and wants to share with me.

Yes I try to get "dolled up" every day for my husband---no it doesn't always happen. Yes I try to cook yummy/healthy meals for us all, but no it doesn't always happen. Yes I want to be back to my prime weight and toned body days, and no, it won't likely ever happen. Babies are more important to me than abs. So why on some days do I forget what my priorities are and feel so horrible for "never" being the perfect wife, mother, daughter, woman?! Because the world is a horrible place that wants us to think that we aren't good enough, ever. You know why, because sadly the world isn't willing to let the "good" overrule the "bad". Such a sad truth, but the more I don't watch tv, the more I don't shop, the more I don't compare myself to others, the happier I am. The key to happiness does not lie within the media (news, blogs, style, etc), or the suggestions of the general public, it just doesn't. I'm writing this down to remind myself. You can take it or leave it. But man do I feel better when I watch the Will.i.am Sesame Street song instead of shopping online. No, I don't think there is anything wrong with being attentive to your looks and doing your best to look beautiful and always striving to be better, but I know there is something wrong with feeling like you aren't pretty or good enough.

I want my daughter to know this more than anything. And you know what, I am so afraid I will fail at teaching her this. I don't have the best track record for self-confidence. I had horrible self-confidence as a teen and barely started to make my way back to positive thinking before I met Skyler in 2004. I hope I can fight off the negativity around me and protect my children and help them know that they are beautiful and amazingly talented in everything they do, even if they aren't Super ____, at various times in life.

This has been on my mind regularly, since mid-undergrad, but it comes to the forefront so often now that I have a child, so I need to have record of it. The world is a harsh and sad place and I want my children to know that they are valued and that we seek after perfection and long-term life improvement, but that at times weakness can be a blessing. If nothing else, a blessing of self-reflection, which in itself, can at times be life changing.

I appreciate all of the people in my life that have been "real" with me. Those people are my best friends, whether I have known them for years or only days, they are the people I turn to.