On a break...

I want to blog.  I really want to blog. I want to tell the world all about my amazing experience welcoming Summer into the world.  I want to talk about how much I love our home.  About how amazingly supportive my husband is and all of the fun it has been to grow as a couple even more as we get into the swing of having two children.  And I want to tell all about Savvy and her latest sweetness...

However, I'm exhausted and tired and want to sleep if the girls are sleeping and I want to stare at them if they are awake and I have a house to get in order and a husband that I get to love and care for.  And I can't seem to find the time to write in this journal of a blog.

I promise to come back after things "slow down" a bit.  I promise to document our lives, but right now I just want to live our lives.

(I'm writing this to clear my conscience and not feel guilty that blogging is on the to-do list of things that are just not getting done right now...)

First Sunday as 4 SMTs ...

June 10th, First Sunday as a family of 4

Also, the first picture of us standing outside our home

We were grateful to enjoy Sacrament meeting together. As it was only our second week in the ward they read our names in to the ward records.  As a funny side note, Savvy raised her arm as they said her name which gave the congregation a good chuckle.  Right after Sacrament meeting we dashed home and continued resting as we tried to get into the swing of things at home with two kiddos.

The dress Summer wore was my dress as an infant and also the same dress Savvy wore on her first Sunday (before she spit up at least).  I love that my mom made and saved so many outfits for us.

Sisters...

Savannah was very anxious to meet Summer and come visit us in the hospital.  Skyler and I were anticipating their first meeting with great excitement and could hardly stand waiting until the next morning, but by the time Summer made her appearance Savvy was fast asleep.

The morning of the 7th Savvy came with Krystiahna to meet her new sister.  We were all grateful to have them together.  Savannah was very gentle and sweet as she continued to ask to hold Summer throughout the extended visit. I loved having us all in the room together.

Savannah's first time holding Summer

That same evening my dad, Krystiahna, and Savannah came to visit with us again. Savannah did a great job with the hospital and wasn't the slightest bit uncomfortable, but when it was time for her to leave we all had our heartstrings pulled.  We let Savvy stay too far past her bedtime.  Savvy repeated over and over that she wanted her mommy and she wanted us to all be a family at our new blue home.  All three of us were crying by the time she made it to the car.  Luckily she fell asleep during the drive and the rest of the transition was smooth.  That was the first of the struggle for me to balance my love for the two girls.  I was heartbroken to send my first baby home while I knew I needed to have more time with our second baby in the hospital.  By now we have all made the transition and the balance came naturally, but silent prayers for strength were given among my many tears that night.

getting ready to leave the hospital and go home together

The next morning as we all gathered to go home in the car together Skyler and I were a bit overwhelmed to have two children in the car, but were incredibly grateful to be a family together.  Our girls are so precious to us.

All home together on Friday, June 8th

Summer Margaret...

Birth story...

I used the Hypnobabies relaxation techniques again with Summer's birth.
If you don't know "guess date" = "due date"  "pressure waves" = "contractions"

Summer Margaret

born June 6, 2012 at 9:31 pm
weighing 7 lbs 9 oz 

I've struggled to know where to start this story as I had a month of the doctors telling me I was going to "have that baby any day now."  Yet, Summer was sitting comfy and decided to make her appearance two days beyond the guess date of June 4th.  With all of the fun happening with the move we honestly weren't the slightest bit surprised.  Skyler and I had been asking her for a month to give us time to move into our house and start to get it ready for her; we are just grateful that she was willing to listen.

I say we were grateful, but bear in mind that I am human and each day I wondered if that day would be the day, especially because my body was having semi-regular pressure waves for days before her arrival.  With all of this to factor in, Skyler quickly got the crib and all-things-baby in place on June 2nd, two days after we moved into our new home and two days before the guess date.  We did this so I could mentally/emotionally have the cue to Summer that things were in place for her when she wanted to make her move.

June 2nd came and went.  June 4th came and went.

morning of June 5th

June 5th my body was much more serious about the pressure waves and I was trying to keep upbeat, so Skyler worked from home.  I did some unpacking while Skyler worked and we both took time with Savannah.  By the afternoon things were quite regular and I had lost the mucus plug earlier in the week so we went to the hospital.  After being monitored they said that, despite the pressure waves being at least a minute and a half long and going only a maximum of four minutes between contractions, the contractions were not strong enough. My doctor and the hospital nurse were not on the same page.  My doctor wanted me to be in much earlier and the nurse was guarding her territory from intruders.  We went home trying to be happy with knowing things were going to happen soon but also disappointed that the nurse wasn't terribly kind.  By the night we realized my body was going to do this all quite similarly to my birth with Savannah.  A slow and steady early labor.  The doctor's concern was how quickly the active stage of labor would be.

Things continued through the night.  I was glad to be in my own bed and slept wonderfully with only a minimal awareness that Summer's birthing time was underway.  When I woke after sleeping so well we were nervous that maybe things were on hold for a bit, so I sent Skyler to work after my 8 am doctor's appointment (where I had my membranes stripped).  I didn't want to use up too much of his time off from work without knowing the baby would be coming right away.  I spent the day doing things around the house and playing with Savvy.  Around 2 pm, I called Skyler and said I thought he needed to come home because I knew I would be having the baby soon.  

During Skyler's commute time, my friend Suzanna called and asked if she could come by and hang out.  I was up for it and knew Savvy would love having friends come to play, so they came over.  When Skyler walked in the door, he said something to the effect of "Why did I come home if you aren't in labor?"  Well, I was in labor, I just wanted to hang out with Suzanna as well.  So we watched the kids play t-ball and we chatted on the couch between pressure waves. (Suzanna told me later that she thought I was crazy and that she wouldn't have asked to come over if she knew I was in the middle of having a baby.  What else was I going to do while I waited?)  I quite enjoyed the visit.

After Suzanna left around 4:30 pm, I went up and took a bath to help with the pressure. (Here is where I want to add my kudos to Skyler for helping make possible the move into the house before the arrival of baby.  Our large soaking tub made my birthing time much more comfortable.) After a while I knew I had to get out of the tub because things were happening quickly.  We had everything in order for Savvy to go stay with my dad and Krystiahna, so Skyler and I headed straight to the hospital.  When we arrived  at 6:30 pm I was at 7 cm.  Lucky for me the nurse that was in triage was the same nurse from the day before.  She didn't even recognize us.  Skyler and I shared a look of dismay and irritation as she left the curtained room.  If I were a mean person, I could have punched her because she was so condescending the day before and again that day.  Alas, I was doing more important things at the time.  While she was making me answer her questions, instead of letting me relax, my water broke, so she believed me that I was actually in labor.  This meant that she was no longer in charge of helping me, so she walked me to the delivery room and I was able to get back in my happy place.  

Once in the delivery room I was back in gear and focused.  I jumped right in the jetted tub.  My new nurse was incredibly sweet and Skyler was a birthing-partner pro.  We had all the lights off and I was mentally at the beach during each pressure wave.  Between each of them I chatted with Skyler (mostly wondering how quickly my mom could make it--she really wanted to be there for the birth).  Things were calm and the doctor was a gem.  The nurse introduced the doctor on rotation as a "want-to-be midwife."  I was thrilled to hear that; she would be perfect for me!  No one pressured me about how things were going or if I wanted medications; they simply put in the i.v. starter in case I hemorrhaged again.  When the doctor came in, she was wonderfully positive.  She was calm and said she was ready to go when Summer was ready.  

I got out of the tub to get checked a couple of times and it turned out that I was "stuck" at an eight (same as with Savvy).  I told the doctor that this had happened and she was very sweet and said I could just get back in the tub.  After a while we tried the peanut ball to see if opening my hips would help.  My mom was able to make it at this point and was a huge help in keeping me relaxed.  She was quick to assist and had the massage oil ready to go.  At some point during this period, when I was being checked, I made everyone chuckle by exclaiming, "Why do we even have cervixes?  They just get in the way!"  The peanut ball didn't end up working and after just under an hour of being at an eight and surprising the doctor that it wasn't changing the doctor decided to just hold my cervix and see if it would stay in place.  It did!  I was thrilled and said "Okay, let's do this!" as I got into the kneeling position. Now that my body was quickly moving to a ten, I was ready to see my baby girl!  

The pushing stage was the biggest thing I wanted to do differently this time.  With Savannah I followed the doctor's guidance and pushed when I was told, despite knowing I wanted to do it differently--I just didn't want to do anything "wrong."  Hypnobabies suggests pushing between waves and I felt like this would really make a difference.  Skyler knew this was important to me, so when the doctor said my cervix was no longer blocking, he came to my ear and whispered how he knew I could do it on my own and then said to push when I wanted to and held my hand while holding his face to my ear.  He was the voice and boost that I needed.  After just one and a half pushes I felt my sweet baby's head and I reached down for her.  It was amazing and spiritual.  So smooth and so powerful!  An absolutely indescribable strength and wave of emotion.  Summer Margaret was perfectly pink and ready to cuddle.  She had a beautifully strong cry and was quick to nurse. 

Summer was able to stay with me at the first moment.  The nurses didn't take her for at least an hour and were able to give her all of the care that she needed right there in our room where I could watch.  It was absolutely wonderful to have her with us.

 

SIDE NOTE:
The hospital had nursing students visiting the labor and delivery and I agreed to have them in the room. The male student had never seen a birth.  The female student had only seen one which was done with an epidural.  The poor male was so young and seemed unsure that he really wanted to be a nurse.  I could see his face as I was pushing and he was trying to keep his composure, but he couldn't watch because he was so nauseated.  I felt so bad for him!  He was so sweet with Summer during the bath and such, but he sure seemed young and naive.

The female student was incredibly sweet.  She was on cloud nine watching the birth.  She was grinning from ear-to-ear and you could see her giddiness.  As she was headed out for the night she came to us and said thank you.  She said that after watching the medicated birth she was certain she wouldn't ever want to experience the "pain" of birth but that after watching our unmedicated delivery she was amazed and felt the power of it all and that now she wants to experience a calm and healthy birth like ours.  (This was her opinion, not mine, I think all births are amazing.  I simply wanted to note this.)

Home Sweet Home...

As the last post in April suggested, we found our home on April 28th.  The seller of the home was eager to move out and we were eager to move in before Summer's arrival, so we had a closing date of May 31st.  We moved in that day.  It was a crazy month to say the least!  It was definitely an emotional and spiritual choice.

The emotional choice was essentially what we have lovingly dubbed as "nesting on overdrive."  While I was pregnant with Savannah I had to rein in a lot of my nesting because we were in a very transient situation, much more so than we even expected.  I didn't realize I was so affected by all of that until we were talking one night about whether or not we were crazy for considering buying the home so close to Summer's "guess date."  During the conversation I found myself thinking out loud to Skyler about my feelings and I began to cry at the joyful thought of bringing our baby to our home.  At the conclusion of that conversation we realized, crazy or not, this was a huge blessing and we would make it happen as there was no question in our minds or hearts whether or not it was a right choice.

Over the few years that Skyler has been done with school and we had been trying to find the right job for him I devoted so much of my faith to that effort and I knew that Heavenly Father guided us to the best job.  And now, in the process of finding and moving to this home, it was equally clear that Heavenly Father is mindful of my role as a mother and homemaker.  I'm not sure how to describe it any better than Heavenly Father will grant us blessing according to our righteous desires and on His time.