Today...

Today has been a long day full of exhaustion and wondering if I really am patient enough to care for children. Savvy had a rough night last night, and we are spoiled so those are few and far between around here, but it was a record breaking night. We slept for 3 hours and that was not consecutive. She wasn't crying constantly or seemingly uncomfortable, she just wanted to be with us in our bed or in her rocking chair and make sure we were comfortable by checking our eyes and noses and the like all throughout the night. When we would put her back to bed she would cry intensely as if something was wrong and knowing that she is on the verge of cutting another tooth and that she has had a tight stomach we didn't know how to react. Because she is my own baby girl I was still overcome by her sweetness in the middle of the night and how wonderful she can be as she cuddles me closely. I was able to snuggle her to sleep for the "night" at 5:30 am. I babysit a 22-month-old and a 3-month old at 6:30 am until 12:15 pm.

3 hours of sleep and 3 children under the age of two aren't the best combination. Especially when the 3-month-old was screaming and was so congested she couldn't take her bottle. The trick is her normal cry is much stronger than Savannah's blood-curdling I-just-hit-my-head-on-the-tile-scream. Needless to say I was praying for patience a lot today and inspiration. The patience came in waves and I finally found the inspiration. After the third time of holding the baby while she cried for an hour+ and the older brother waking her for the third time I finally fell on my knees and rocked the screaming baby while holding her little face with my hands and "shhhing" her softly in her ear. It seemed so extreme to me because I never would have had to do that with Savvy, but I have seen clips from "Happiest Baby on the Block" and thought I might as well give it a whirl. It worked. She stopped screaming. I cried a bit. She fell asleep.

Mothering is not for the faint in heart. I love my baby girl and I love the children I care for in other capacities. And you bet I am learning a lot about myself along the way.

Savannah Madelyn, 8 April