If your opinions of medicine and doctors are different than mine, please don't be offended by this post. I promise I respect you and your ways. This is a mommy-therapy session of sorts :)
Today Savannah has her first official doctors appointment since she was 2 weeks old. Judge as you will, but I promise she has all of her immunizations (that's another judgment call) and has been a healthy child. We haven't had insurance that would cover well visits for the last year and we did not want to spend $300 for a doctor to tell us she was healthy and then have her catch a cold from being in an office with sick children. But I know, she is little, and some days I was really close to spending as much as it would take to get a pat on the back from a physician, then I would take a deep breath and she would eat a ton and we were fine. I've always charted her growth, she has never lost weight, she has frequently been seen at a small clinic for immunizations, and I've always been aware of the developmental milestones in case there were to be a concern.
Background
In the hospital we had the most amazing perinatologist, Satish, that made me feel confident in being a mother. Then when Savvy was only a few days old we went to the pediatrician, of course the one recommended by Satish wasn't available, so we went to the one they put us with. She was a beast. Nagged me for giving my baby a pacifier, which I had requested against, but the nurse in NICU gave it to her and I wasn't about to take it away. Then she nagged me about not waking Savvy every 2 hours, when Satish had given me different instructions that I was following, and then she told me that my milk was great and my baby was healthy and gaining right on schedule. Yeah, I was confused too. And bitter. Then I asked around with my mom friends and heard their similar horror stories from appointments with this person.
Then at two weeks I thought Savvy had thrush so I took her in and requested a different doctor this time. They gave me Dr. Uphoff. She was decent, but again told me that my baby was little, yes I knew that, and that she needed to eat more. Okay, but I had just had a dietitian friend tell me that she was doing great. Then of course she said that her weight gain was right one schedule. Then the doctor told me that the thrush would clear up on its own by morning because it wasn't a severe bought, but then she prescribed medicine for Savannah to take several times a day for a couple of weeks. Why give her medicine if it is going to go away on its own? I wasn't sure, but I was a nervous mom so I bought it, gave the medicine to her twice and in the morning it was gone. Though I was told to give it to her for several weeks, I never did it again--judgment call.
So what does this all mean?! Doctors are human beings that judge frequently based on opinions and you need to find a right fit for you, your family and your ideals of medicine. I understand that opinions are a part of the medical field, but if it is just your humble opinion that I am a bad mother, keep it to yourself, because with the hormones raging in a new mother, there is no way the mother is going to feel adequate about herself and her skills if you tell her she sucks at it all.
Satish gave me the best advice: wake her gently to nurse, cuddle her, love her, and she will nurse when she needs it and monitor her growth. I did that. I have done that for 14 months now and I have a happy, social, smarty-pants, healthy, bundle of joy. Let's just hope the doctor today agrees with me.
The anxiety of being a mother can be so ridiculous some days. Please tell me I'm not alone in my stress ;)
6 comments:
You are so not alone on this front. I'm convinced I know more about Livie's GI problems than her GI doc, so I call her NP in the feeding program, tell her what's up, what I think, and she usually agrees and follows suit with my recommendations. Doctors can get high on power trips sometimes, and it's good to remember that Heavenly Father trusted YOU with this child, and for good reason. He also gave you your instincts as a mom, and the Spirit to help you decide how to raise her. I'm convinced nobody knows better than mom. Hang in there! Don't be afraid to bare your fangs if the doctor's mean to you, either. Love ya!
You're not alone. I tell that to Joy on a regular basis. It goes for you too.
You're a wonderful mom! (and I'm not just saying that to be nice) The good news is she's your baby and you have the right to do it your own way. That's what is great about this plan, almost all of us get the chance to do it. Don't worry so much what others think because someone will always agree and someone will always disagree. Just love that baby the best you can and she will love you back and that's all that really matters!
I really liked reading this post. Our society puts a lot of trust in medical doctors but I don't think that's always a good thing. I have a hard time trusting my instincts, but when I don't, I always regret it.
You're not alone! As mothers, we are our kids' number ONE advocate, and we have instincts more powerful than a doctor's opinion. Yes, sometimes we need medical intervention, but for the most part, Mommy Knows Best. Keep being so awesome!
Well I just wrote up this really long thing telling you how I agree with you and some of my experiences. When I tried to send it it said something was wrong. Then my message was gone. It was probably too long. haha
Anyway, yes I agree with you 100%! You have brains and confidence. That's all you need. You're a great mom!
Post a Comment